Bored Out Of My Mind

by Anonymous

I get up in the morning and the first thought that pops in my head is what the hell am I going to do today?

I worked my whole life and retired at a early age of 52, I was a carpenter and considered myself lucky to retire with a good pension and all the time in the world to do what I want when I want.

I soon found out that this was the one thing that would lead me down the path of depression and over thinking my life.

I should also mention I'm divorced with no children and very few hobbies but that never seem to matter before because hung out with many acquaintances.

What happens is people go in different directions and I found myself on the outside looking in.

I am in desperate search of what to do with my life to bring satisfaction and not just be existing out here waiting to die.

I am somewhat of a health nut, I exercise and eat healthy everyday and try to stay away from the party lifestyle so I don't end up a lonely old man sitting at the end of a bar.

Comments for Bored Out Of My Mind

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Too young to be old & too old to be young
by: Dawn

Hi there,

To the young man who retired as a carpenter & who claims to be a healthy nut.

Hello?

Do you not know that your skill set is amazing ?
Do you not know that finding a healthy, committed, clean non-smoking fit carpenter is a diamond in the rough?

Do you not know if you loved what you do as a carpenter that is not only a skill but a hobby?

Do you not know there are ooodles of folks with money out there that would love your services?

My friend,
Start your own LLC & getttter going!
Not got any better
by: Chris

Made me sad reading your post, could of wrote it myself. Try and think positive friend knowing that there are thousands round the world just like us.
Getting Better
by: Anonymous

I stopped working at 42 after 25 yrs because of sudden panic attacks. I went on meds and panic went away after 6 months, but then my daughter was diagnosed w/MS.

I spent the next few yrs helping her get stabilized, after 2 yrs she met someone and had my first granddaughter. For 5 yrs I helped take care of her but then they didn't need me as much.

That was the beginning of boredom/depression. Most days I woke with dread wondering what I would do all day. I had no energy, just ate and did nothing all day, saw my family fairly often but had long periods of despair.

After several years of this, one day through sheer force of will I took a walk for 15 minutes, and started walking every day. I also asked myself if there was one small thing I could do every day to improve my health, finances, relationships, or home. So one day I would clean a closet, another I wrote to a sibling, or ate carrots instead of chips. I started selling stuff I didn't need on Ebay, after 2 yrs I made $20,000 and paid off bills, which lifted such a burden.

The more I did, the more energized I got. I still have more to do, I want to get rid of more stuff, lose more weight, etc. But now I have goals and emotionally feel much better. It was so hard to start, the only thing that worked was that initial force of will.

I'm 60 now and I look at it as not retiring from work, but rather exchanging one type of work for another. It's better to be busy and it doesn't have to be busywork, it's work that benefits myself and family, not a boss.

One thing I've noticed is that I enjoy small things much more, like taking time to drink coffee or play with the cat, things I used to rush through all the years I worked.

I guess the bottom line is that there is a way out of the depression/boredom and it just takes that one big effort to start.
Just Keep Going
by: Tim, Victoria Australia

Many people cant wait to retire, but I am dreading it. I have considered retiring but am still working in my 60s, and busier than ever. However, I am starting to think more about what life will be like when I have to retire in about 2 years.

Working less than full time now, it really hits home that I am not be happy spending many quiet days at home.

Married, my wife and I will need to keep busy with what are currently hobbies - I just wonder if that will be enough for either of us.

Sitting behind a computer helps some days but interaction with people daily is essential. If I have to, I will volunteer, join groups, get involved.
BORED IN RETIREMENT
by: Anonymous

Unfortunately, there are a few of us who were defined by our careers and our jobs. Like any addiction, we hid our personal issues and lost our personal growth along the way.

I never prepared for being an empty nester (raised two of my three children, and a divorced man.) My few friends are still coupled off and working.

Other than the pizza man, I have little interaction during the day. Yes, I could volunteer but I would feel like I am just trying to fill a VERY empty calendar.
Sculpting
by: Art

Retirement is a time for you to create your new life. Picture yourself as a sculptor who begins to chisel into the stone. Begin to form your figure and learn how to create detail. It will take time and effort and patience to become a good sculptor. As you learn to work with the tools and the stone, you will find yourself become more confident and pleased. You are the artist of this masterpiece !!
Not got any better
by: Real but anon

Thought I would give an update. Seven months into my retirement and things have not got any better.

The winter weather is a killer, no reason to leave the house and I'm totally fed up. All my mates are still working. The thing is even when they're not working, they don't get in touch.

Tried fixing up nights out, etc, usually falls through due to lack of interest. I have plenty kids that are now mostly grown up, They don't get in touch. They live about 20 miles away but all they do is play with their mobiles, go see their mates and work.

I find it really hard to believe that the kids I loved and adored for their entire childhood, who were never spared holidays, birthdays, Christmases, now can't be bothered to keep in touch. Modern living seems designed to break families up.

You would think mobiles would help you keep in touch, but actually they just drive you apart.

I can understand why there are so many male suicides, though thankfully I'm not there yet. It just seems as if blokes as they get older don't bother with one another.

It's pretty grim.
Been There
by: BE

I retired 1 1/2 years ago and was busy for a year doing things that I didn't have time for.

Now with one winter behind me, this Winter seems to be a problem. We in Northern New England have long cold winters and if you don't ski or snowboard it can get boring fast.

Everyone else works or is in school during the week so the silence can be too much. I have some volunteer work but it does not cover every day all day. You can only watch so much TV. I loved to read but you can't do that all day either.

BE
Another chapter in life's rich tapestry
by: AJ

Parachuted forcibly out of work aged 53 when the role which I performed moved to India. Yes, to an extent boredom exists but I do take comfort in telling myself that, at least I'm bored on my own terms. The corporate world eventually sucks the life blood from you. Dying in harness

Thankfully, 2 years on, still physically capable of walking 10 miles every day with occasional cycling thrown in.

Could benefit from more social interaction (single with no kids) but conscious that the longer you are on your own , the more used to your own company you become. Kids make new friends so easily which is not the case for ageing grunts like me !
Update
by: GiGi - Boston, MA

I responded to this thread several years ago (yes it has been running that long) :) - and thought I would add an update.

I was diagnosed a year ago with umpteen heart blockages - inoperable (God was good - they did another heart cath a month ago and were able to stent 3 of the blockages) but I have realized that EVERY day God gives me is PRECIOUS .

Every opportunity for my family to be together - and for me to hug my precious great-grandsons - a total privilege.

I'm somewhat housebound - but thankfully NEVER bored - while I DO watch a LOT of t.v. - I continue to learn a great deal (watch a lot of documentaries), catch up on movies I missed, follow my "cooking" shows (not as though I ever cook - but what the hey) and at the end of every night - count my many blessings and look forward to the next day.

Life IS precious - it's a shame to waste a minute of it - there is still much to see and learn - even if you do it from the inside of your home...
Bored and Lonely in Portland
by: Cindy in Portland, OR

I retired in 2014. I moved to Portland, OR, in 2017. I started two Meetup groups, the Portland Independent Movie Goers, and Retired in Portland.

Organizing and attending the meetups fills up some of my time but I still spend a lot of time alone. I am bored and lonely. I've applied for some part-time jobs but, because of my age, I don't expect anyone to hire me.

Wendy: Cindy! Mindset Matters. If you tell yourself that you will not be hired, if you think it, if you say it aloud, if you write it -- You will not be hired. Please don't do that to yourself. Instead:

I've applied for some part-time jobs -- and I can't wait for the opportunity to interview and meet new people.

Anything BUT what you wrote, Uggg! Reframe it, and start telling yourself daily that you deserve more.
Bored as well
by: Anonymous

I retired 5 years ago at 56.

Today the days are long and boring. I needed to retire as the job was too much after 36 years at it. I golfed for a couple years after retiring but I didn't enjoy it like I once did. I'm shy and think of myself as a simple guy.

So many days now are spent in front of the dam TV. I can't sleep anymore. I'm up all night on computer or watching same TV shows.

My marriage is suffering because I don't want to leave the house. Anxiety is brutal now. My family wants me to see a phycologist.

I've had many friends but I feel different now. Many days I wish I could fall asleep and never wake up. I don't want to work but I can't go on like this.
Sad but true.

Wendy: Please find the Contact Wendy page here, and write to me. Let's talk. Life is never this bad!
In exactly the same boat
by: Real but anon

Yip I retired at 58 because my workplace was looking like it was closing down and the other options were not good.

Like so many I wouldn't wish to work again (all too easy to forget how shit it was), but I agree being on your own all day can drive you to depression, without the stimulus of other people's interaction.

I'm only a few months into this and I am concerned the rest of my life is going to feel meaningless. The trouble with retirement is that you kind of come to your senses -you slowly realise life has little purpose and that the purpose you had when you were working was purely delusional.

Yup you can go for walks, take up hobbies, exercise, have long lies, etc., etc., but somehow it doesn't sort things out. You know you are simply filling in time.

I guess we are no different to other animals in that we are here to grow and reproduce, then after that it's just a wind down to death.

I can only conclude I need to get out there and get some stimulating company but it's easier said than done. i have great sympathy for the chap that raised the question initially. I guess you need to meet someone like me! Then we can bore each other togethr with stories about the old days. as for that couple that have sex every day, I don't believe you!!!!
Wow
by: Mike Minneapolis

I get bored sometimes but have found an infinite source of happiness by walking (up to 10 miles per day) and listening to podcasts and audiobooks. I get smarter and more fit at the same time. Try Amazon’s Audible books. They have Great Courses on every subject.
BORED IN RETIREMENT
by: John/NYC

In addition to these online chat groups, are there any support groups for bored early 55+ retirees? If so, how do I find them (they are not showing up in Google)?

Wendy: John, join the newer Working In Retirement group. You may or may not return to work, but Larry is going to help retirees with his ideas on working. He has a unique perspective (to me) and it might benefit you. This IS new -- he is still working on it and the group is rather quiet still -- but you will see action Soon! Working In Retirement Facebook Group
Bored ? try Acting !
by: Anonymous

I retired at 60 and was also bored for a while. I decided to get into " background performing ". In other words, be an extra in film and TV. It is a very interesting line of work and you get to meet a lot of great people. If you are in an area where they do make a lot of movies and tv shows, this could be your ticket out of the house and the bordom. I did it for 4 years until my health interfered. It was a great way to make some money on the side also. The hours can be long, but you may only work one day a week. You get to see yourself in movies and TV shows and they have great food on some sets. Give it a try. You won't be bored.
Your purpose
by: Anonymous

Your purpose is to love God with heart, soul, mind and strength.
Sex in Retirement
by: Carol in Canada

I'll tell you what me and my husband do in our retirement. We don't have money so we hike go to the gym, nap a lot and have a lot of sex, haha. We have date date three times a week. We make ourselves a nice lunch. We bought a cappuccino machine and have a nice coffee at the treat after. We eat a pot cooking sit and watch some TV and talk and then have sex around 3 instead of at night. We both look forward to it and it feels like we're having a party. What the hell we don't have much time left, so party it up until then long as her health this good. Look after your help first. And if you don't have a partner find one on a dating site. We found each other 23 years ago on a dating site.
Retired from work not life
by: Dave

Loved reading these , retired 6 months ago today at 54 as to put it simply I was bored and apathetic after 37 years working.

6 months have flown by and now that I have done most of my too do lists (tour America, swim with dolphins etc ) I worry wonder what's next.

I really don't miss 6am starts and 8pm finishes and no matter how bored I may get I still won't miss that . I have taken up new hobbies from kite flying to mountain climbing as you should enjoy your fitness and health while you have it.

Join a theatre group or a reading group or a meet up group but the important thing is the word group as being alone and bored is an awful situation .

We think of retirement as a time to slow down and it should be the opposite .

Good luck with whatever you want too do and remember sometimes it's nice to have a "boring" day it just means you enjoy the other days more .

Healthy mind and body are more valuable than any pension pot.

And finally live your life like it's your last day as one day it will be .
Bored as well
by: Anonymous

I don't dislike people but I am shy and fighting anxiety and depression now.

I retired 5 years ago and sit at home most days because fear takes over.

I am losing hope that life will ever be good.
Some people don’t get it
by: Al

I personally retired because I was sick of my job. I hated it. And I don’t really like people. I wish I did but I don’t.

Volunteering is nice but not when you don’t like people........ so, yeah, bored out of my mind with decades left and not a person on earth I’d want to interact with. Fun.
Do something new - Not Carpentry
by: Ty from Ventura

Here's what a lot of people are missing:

If you've been a Carpenter (or whatever job) for the last 20 years that's the LAST thing you want to do.

I'm in the same boat, worked for 25 years, saved & invested, did ok, totally bored.

I find leisure in the outdoors, get out & do something, anything. I just started Guitar & violin, very mentally challenging & stimulating.

AND I'm at the animal shelter doing volunteer work (I miss my Dachsund Lorie, loved her so much).

Just get away from what you were doing before, out of the comfort zone.

Good luck man, I'm with ya.
Bored
by: Louisect

I was just thinking about other things you could do.

You are a carpenter and there are tons of wooden things you could make and sell. Etsy is a good place to sell handmade things. You should take a look and see what things sell. A friend of mine bought me a cutting board that had a design burned into it and my name is on it. Custom wooden puzzles, coasters, signs, boxes...here is a link to scroll thru to see interesting items to make and sell

https://www.etsy.com/search?q=wooden&order=most_relevant&view_type=gallery&ship_to=US

Hope this helps!
IDEAS
by: Louisect

Zen, It would be great if you could post a list of your ideas! We all have different needs and good ideas are welcomed!
Good News re retirement
by: Zen Roth

Hey,

If you need something to do then I have a list so big it will take you a 1000 years.

If I was a carpenter then I would offer my services for free plus the cost of materials.

There are literally millions of people who you could help.

You could take up a course in anything.

If you get stuck give me a shout.

Cheers
Zen
Ideas to keep busy
by: Louisect

My first thought would be, since you are a carpenter, would be for you to build different pieces of furniture like end tables, coffee tables, benches, head boards/bed frames.

If you know someone with similar talents, you could get them to help you to paint or varnish the pieces. Another idea would be to focus on one type of furniture like a bench and make a 'kit' with the lumber needed, the screws, brackets plus very good written instructions for the buyer to assemble the unit. Advertise, sell, ship.

Another thing might be a handyman service to make new cabinet doors for existing kitchen cabinets, new doors for barns, etc.

There is a guy I know who is a handyman at a Mobile Home park and he does everything. He has so much business he has people working for him. He puts in new floors, roofs, updates bathrooms, paints, tunes up furnaces, mows lawns and shovels in the winter. He also fixes the skirting around the mobile homes when the wind blows them down. This guy could work 24 hours a day! He will do just about anything you can imagine.
Really?
by: Still working/NJ

Volunteer for habitat for humanity if you are a carpenter. Plenty can never retire or conversely cannot find work. Be thankful, and do something with your talents!
Try never being able to retire
by: Caregiver

So some retiree, 83, who had no business driving, permanently disables my spouse who just 3 months prior graduated with almost 100K in school loans, and us with a newly built 330K house.

Fast forward 12 years, I his caregiver and raising our child, lose our house, wreck our credit (some 500K worth of surgeries in), and have no way to pay off his school loans...and certainly no way, ever, for me to retire.

Moral of the story, quit whining and get a hobby, a girlfriend and volunteer if you are bored. You earned your retirement...now go out and do something with it!
Retired and bored
by: keith

As others have said. First 6 months great even though I was made redundant.

Time moved on and being at home all the time with no friends (colleges) to interact with makes life boring.

Thought I could do some hobbies but materials and room a problem. Materials cost money have little of that. Enthusiasm gone with no challenges that work provided on a daily basis.

Family create their own problems giving more headache's.

Even getting a simple job requires these modern CV's asking the world and team workers. Walking around shops baa humbug.

Retirement is not what I expected.
Forced out. Now I'm bored.
by: Freeway Willy

Dear Freeway Willy...

Your story has been moved to its own page... please click on What's New to find it. I wanted other retirees to have the opportunity to connect and help you... thus moving your story. I hope you don't mind! Wendy
A carpenter?
by: John

You said you were a carpenter. What did that entail? Have you thought about engaging in the artistic side of your profession? Custom furniture, perhaps, or even art pieces?

I'm 48, and one of the millions who have been forcibly "put out to pasture" of late. For our age group and the generations following us, there will be no "retirement." In fact, I don't care for the word and its implications.

The reality is that "retirement" is actually a career change. We stop doing whatever we were doing, and (hopefully) move on to something that is equally rewarding. I suspect that viewing and planning for the event in this way would eliminate many of the problems I see retirees writing about here.

Just don't give up. Your niche is out there, and you will find it.
Talent and no place to go
by: JGray

i was laid off at 63 and would have continued working. Then I was really bored and felt useless, so I applied and went tp graduate school, divinity school—something I'd always had an interest in. This was at the time of the "crash." After three years the school lost a lot of funding and reduced my scholarship significantly so I couldn't continue.

Now I have many volunteer activities but none that requires enough time or creativity from me, and I feel I've got all this energy and talent and no place to put it, if you know what I mean. I live alone and have no family, and no money. That combination is difficult too. Friends travel a lot, but I cannot.

Still looking for that one great passion.

Wendy J, if you need something creative, start a website. You can do whatever you choose there, in terms of look and feel, then write and teach people on any topic (divinity or something else), then develop a community, a following, and earn income. Write to me under the Contact (bottom left) and let me help you find the way... seriously fun, challenging and creativity unlimited.
Bored and going Nuts
by: Anonymous

Yes, me too. I retired at age 52, after 33 years at a job I loved.

I have no grandchildren, and am tired of being lonely. I don't have friends that I can depend on and family is a hot mess. I have a great husband and son, both do not work, nor do they want do, they like living off my retirement fund which makes me very short on funds. I've done my part of supporting my family.

I thought this was suppose to be my time.
I hear ya'
by: Nancy

I know the feeling. My husband is on disability and I was staying at home to help him out. So, when I turned 62 I applied for my early retirement to help supplement his income amount.

Now he's doing better and it's wow what to do today and blank comes up lol. Well, gee what's on tv tonight lol. Oh, something to look forward to...watch tv tonight lol.

I know what you mean sometimes it feels like we're just existing here waiting to die. Yikes, that's a cheery thought lol. Well, anyway that felt better to see my thoughts such as they are in writing.

Good luck to you.
Me too.
by: Anonymous

Retired last October at age 60.
Often I kick myself,thinking I made a big mistake and left a lot of money "on the table".
This Spring/Summmer I took up fly fishing and that has kept me busy.
Maybe I will do some part time work ... But I'm in no hurry.
Now I Like doing things on my own time and pace.
No bosses' no meetings, no job pressures.
Marking time till I drop off the twig.
by: Anonymous

That's exactly how I felt even though I was involved in other interests and volunteer work.

Everything seemed so pointless.

However, on having a complete change of scene - going on a holiday abroad, things looked so much different on my return.

I would suggest that you plan and book a holiday abroad. Somewhere quite exotic compared to your current existence.

Even buying new clothes for a completely different environment can make you look at yourself in a completely new way.
Bored out of my mind
by: Anonymous

A month or two ago, I would have said this would never be me - but....I'm almost 70 - have been retired since December 12 - and the first few months FLEW - had fun w/my retirement check (too MUCH fun) went to Ireland, etc. got my life and papers organized finally - and now ?? I know I need to go back to work part-time.

The painful reality is that for the first time in my life I realize while I have a sharp mind to bring to the office (was an admin. asst for over 35 years) physically, I'm TIRED... my hearing is SHOT, and due to mobility issues - can't stand on my feet for very long - so it would need to be a job "behind the scenes" -pushing pencils, etc. (or is that paper)....

While I am NOT bored at all, I also don't feel I'm living my life to it's fullest potential these days - so look forward to other's comments and suggestions not only to you but to other's feeling as you are.
Make New Friends
by: Sunie Levin

Make new friends of all ages. You will not be bored, especially younger friends who open doors to new ideas for you to explore.

My book "Make New Friends Live Longer" tells you how to become proactive when you retire or leave your job.

At age 82 I am never bored. I enjoy meeting new people. Use your computer and try out social media. Go to your local library and join an interesting group.

Good luck.

Sunie Levin
http://www.makenewfriendslivelonger.com
Life starts @ 65
by: Anonymous

you are very healthy and lucky... fellow, please volunteer so many kids need your help, your input on life, and your love.
Bored................Why?
by: Jeff hall

I live alone as well and I understand what it's like to be on the outside looking in.

But that was back then, now I volunteer and I am meeting so many different people. Each one has so much to offer that I feel so lucky to talk to them and share ideas on so many parts of living for today.

Set around if you want, but there is so much going on around you if you want to get into things. It's all up to you.
Scared of the same thing
by: plp

I am retiring in six months and I am truly afraid of the same thing. I think I'll get busy on projects, but really the projects bore me now and so why would they excite me when I am retired?

I really will look for a part-time job...what I have no idea. I am a administrative assistant so hopefully I can do something part-time in that field. I will be 64 when I retire - I look forward and dread this all in one.
WHY??
by: Anonymous

I don't understand why anyone would retire at 52, unless a medical condition made it necessary. We have so much to give and so much experience to offer!

Instead of retiring early, I went into staff development where I could pass along my accumulated knowledge and experience. Those were happy productive years.
Bored
by: Anonymous

I am afraid of the same thing...watch too much tv...what is my purpose...this is scary
Ditto
by: Anonymous

Life is lonely without a family or friends.
New Interests
by: Sandy

This is the perfect time to explore something NEW.
Why not volunteer? Take a trip? Take a class. Use your talent to develop a new hobby. There must be lots of women who would like to keep you company...get out there!
Reach out!
by: Sheila

Bored? What did you do before retirement? You have skills and knowledge that you can share with others. Use them, free of charge.

It's a wonderful feeling knowing you are helping someone else who is having difficulty coping with their own retirement.

I always say that someone who is bored has no imagination. Do you accept that label?
help for boredom
by: Anonymous

Since you are a practical person with good skills why don't you vplunteer to help in overseas programs?

You will learn many interesting things while making an important contribution to the world.

I have a keen interest in a program that builds orphanages in the Spanish world to the south of us.

Just heard this morning about a building program in Nigeria.

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