A Secretive Spouse's Death

by Phyllis
(PA)

My husband was so darn secretive it was unbelievable! He will be gone one year in February but when he first passed, I nearly pulled my hair out!

Of course, I had my own checkbook so knew how to write a check but he would NEVER allow me to know anything about the taxes or household payments.

Once he died, everything was thrown in my lap and of course, I lost it. I am no dummy to life; I had lived alone before; therefore once I picked myself off the floor I started to put everything in motion.

Firstly I sold our home which was on a very large farm and bought my very own first home. It was difficult at first but now me and my boys (all four furry babies) are loving it.

We didn't have any children which is good in some ways but not in others. I am however, moving along. My family lives in other states & have their own lives therefore I move on in my own time.

However, if you live in a life where your spouse is secretive, try very hard to learn as much as you can about your life because if they leave this world before you, and you wind up like me, believe me, it is no PICNIC! LoL.

Wendy: When my father-in-law died, my mother-in-law had never written a check, never paid a bill, rarely even grocery shopped. She was the stay at home mom and housekeeper and loved that role. However, when he died, she was totally lost on how to do the simplest household financial things.

I never met him, but saw how devastated she was with this all falling into her workload suddenly with two kids still at home.

I agree -- know about your finances. Look at the bills, the bank account, all of that -- even if you need to sneak into it when she/he isn't at home. Simply EDUCATE yourself...

Good to hear you are doing ok, Phyllis!

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