A Child of the 40's

by Irwin Lengel
(Florida)

A child of the 40’s trying his best to smile, laugh, joke or whatever to get through each day in this crazy mixed-up world of ours.

Looking online at the headlines of our local paper back home some time back, I came across an article discussing three things we could do within a short drive of our hometown, were we there that is.

I must admit though, two of the three things in question were appealing had we been there. How does the saying go: “When in Rome, do as the Romans do!”

So, let’s scope them out – Wine drinking while listening to some live music; Cha Cha lessons; and a Kayak tour.

I can see it now as I head towards the wine booth asking a stranger heading towards the same booth: What is “live music?” Does it sound different than “dead” music?”

Oh, and guess what, there are artists showing their wares for sale. Not being an artist by any stretch of the imagination - the extent of my painting experience has been a paint by numbers set and a few lessons when I was in my late sixties. My educated guess is that we should check their wares out before the wine or else, I may buy what I think is a mountain scene only to find, once back home, that it is a desert scene with high sand dunes.

Next place of things to do was to learn the Cha – Cha at $10 a lesson. Whoo hoo - let me tell you, that instructor doesn’t know what she is in for. Picture her face when I ask: Can we cha-cha to the line dance song “Achy Breaky Heart” or “Boot Scootin Boogie”? What can I say – once a line dancer – always a line dancer.

The third event we could go to is learning how to master kayaking. Now, before I discuss this event, let me just say that “I cannot swim” so that means I need water wings or some form of security blanket to keep with and on me 24/7 when anywhere near water let alone on the water in a kayak.

We did this many years ago in a two-man kayak and I was in the front and had to peddle to control the rudder as well as keep control of my paddle so we did not go around in circles. Talk about feeling like I was being stretched out of proportion. Okay – what can I say? I am a short person. The pedals were in the extreme tip of the kayak and I have short legs. Remember when we were kids and were told to rub our head in one direction while rubbing our belly in the opposite direction? Need I say more? Talk about feeling like a fish out of water.

It is a good thing these three events are at various times and locations. Can you see me with a glass of wine in one hand, food in the other, trying to Cha Cha to Boot Scootin’ Boogie just prior to stepping off the pier into a kayak for a spin in the Atlantic Ocean. I don’t think so.

I will take my food and wine in an easy chair watching an episode of NCIS, my line dancing (or cha cha) at our clubhouse for free, and well – the kayaking – I will leave that for the younger folk.

In the future, the only time I want to spend on the water is cruising to Cozumel, Belize or Jamaica, man!

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