About to retire

by diane
(canada)

I am 64 years old and do not have to retire but feel that it is time. New management lacks leadership skills and feels threatened by me.

It's time for me to move on but i am scared...I have raised my children and now have been living alone for over 10 years. it is very lonely and I feel like retirement will be even worse.

I have moved around a lot for my job so really don't have friends as I was in management...a lone manager in a community so not really any colleagues.

I am planning on changing communities again and going to live in the town my eldest daughter lives in. Even that makes me nervous as I have not lived in the same town as her for 10 years or so. I don't want to intrude in her life and what if I cant make friends there??

All very scary...


Wendy: Retirement is scary, it's leaving what you know, what you do very day, to lots of "nothingness".

Then you figure it out, who you want to be post-retirement, and life goes on.

Like any life transition - going off to college alone, getting married, having children, going into retirement... just another transition.

Make it what YOU want retirement to be. So many options, just need to sit and think about what you want out of your retired life. It's all in front of you.. just JUMP!

Comments for About to retire

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Calling all Volunteers
by: Nancy

A lot of writers talk about volunteer opportunities. Perhaps everyone who is volunteering can share what they are doing and where they volunteer. Hopefully many ideas will come from this and help those of us to expand our searches areas to volunteer.
retirement is fun
by: diane Canada

I first posted 3 years ago as I got ready to retire and found that just writing my fears helped me a lot. I am now a pro at retirement and it is fun, fun, fun.

I don't have a lot of money so not able to travel but there is so much more to do. I took of quilting, and I did not even know how to sew. Made quilts for all my kids and grandkids.

Volunteer at a local community centre and joined the board. more importantly I have now time for me. I have lost 30 lbs. and feel so much more relaxed.

I find enjoyment in the small things. I made new friends, walk and find I am enjoying people so much more. My grandkids also keep me busy.

So I guess my point is just relax, smell the roses and don't look for others to make you happy.
About to retire - talk to your daughter
by: Cindy, USA

Diane, have you spoken with your daughter about moving to her town and that you worry about relying on her too much? The more we talk about stuff, the less scared we get. Tell her you're hoping to find activities and friends of your own. She may have some great ideas for you. Good luck!
Scared to Retire
by: dianeAnonymous

Reading everyones comments sure has helped put things in perspective. Also taken away the anxiety.

One thing that I have started to do is write. I realized that when I went my children (who only have vague memories of their grandmother) will not know anything about her or their great grandfather. I lost my sister 6 months ago and future generations won't remember her. So I am going to write short stories of each of them to leave for future generation. Just short stories that highlite their personalities or little ways of doing things.

Who knows I may even publish it...now I am anxious for the next few months to pass so I can retire.
Scared to Retire - Diane?
by: Jeannette

Great comments! I am really getting to love this website as I ponder retirement in 6 months....

I especially liked the comment about not looking back at your past life, and just looking forward and making your present life what you want it to be! That helps me as I try to prepare my "retirement nest" by organizing all the accumulated papers and stuff around me.

I have a trunk load of letters from my parents and have them all organized by years going back to the 1970's (ALOT OF LETTERS!). I am struggling with knowing if I should just have a bon fire and burn them and releasing them to the universe, or if I should start re-reading them all and saving some of them!! What an overwhelming task, but then I think - is this a good retirement project or not??

We don't have any kids, so can't leave them to anyone. I feel stuck with letting go of these sentimental letters. I love my parents, but these letters are not my parents.

Any advice is sure welcome!

Wendy: I am probably the only person to say SAVE THOSE LETTERS, as I would hate to see them destroyed. In the least, why not photograph or scan them and save them on a computer or a small ISB drive? Then should you ever want to read them, you still can.

I've published a pen pal newsletter for 20 years now... and the opinions vary. Some believe letters are history, written history, and others say it's simply impossible to store them all forever.

Finally, it seems that many retirees go through a clean out and purge, simplify life, transition at time of retirement too. I agree, those letters are not your parents, but years from now you might love to read them and remember. They are their thoughts, from their own heart and soul...

One more idea -- I joined Ancestry.com recently as a free member. I am adding family members simply as a historic record for future generations... no big searches, just watching for whatever matches they find. However, there are areas for comments, for fact sources, for any types of media -- you can upload audio, video, photos, stories etc. If any of your letters are suitable to be shared with family members, or with the world if they contain any historical information, just consider adding something there.
You're not alone!
by: Diana

Wow, Diane, not only do we have similar names, we have similar life stories. Is your career one that you could do as a consultant/contractor?

I've seen several folks my age "retire" on Friday and come back the next week for more money and half the hours....not to mention they can select which contract projects they want to take.

My career took me all around the world as well as all around the country and when I was "home' I'd want to just stay close to the house and unwind so making new relationships was/is minimal.

A close friend of mine offered me some great advice (and this webpage is a great resource)....try researching hobbies/volunteering, etc.and start doing some while still working instead of waiting.

Good luck.
About to retire
by: Max

I took early retirement to look after my sick wife who died three years ago. My advice is try to keep active and get out of the house - not easy I know.

I too had a senior management position and moved around a lot so did not manage to make many friends - I moved to my present house three years ago to be near my daughter and grandchildren and they have been a great comfort.

The best thing I did was join a walking group which gets me out most days of the week and I meet many different people from all walks of life.

I get very 'down' when stuck in the house with no one to talk to - a common problem nowadays I'm afraid. I wish you well.
Enjoy
by: Anonymous

Dear, do not feel difficulties in retirement. Feel free and if possible, find friends to develop hobby and use computer to make friends.

You remained in management and a successful one to advise other and be consultant.

I believe you are quite active one so remain happy. You have to leave being very senior.

Om
Just another door of opportunities
by: Anonymous

As it has been said do not look at it as a negative time but as a positive time. We have been very busy with life. I do not know where you are living but where I live there are a number of possibilities to volunteer and also learning opportunities.

Rather than looking back over your life, think about the rest of your life and get with it.

There is a whole new world out there that needs to be explored and all sorts of things to learn about that you did not have time to do before retiring.

Enjoy the good life, I am!
Crafts Project
by: Joe W.

Diane,

Welcome, after reading some of the details of your own self-discovery attempt I suggest that you first of all try the open field of 'Crafts' projects. This will probably give you an idea if you are really interested in crafts. Why do I say this? It's very unlikely that you will pursue anything unless you have a passion for it.

If crafts doesn't work out for you then maybe write down all the things that you love or like to do in YOUR retirement. Then, go through your list to see if there are any possibilities to pursue something further.

Good Luck!

Joe W.
What is it that is really scary about retirement?
by: diane

Funny thing about retirement... not only is it a transition but society does not speak kindly about old people and once you retire you are moving into that sector.

I think one of the worst things for me is not leaving the job but feeling like I am moving into another era of sensible shoes (no high heels) and flowered print dresses (I hate) and crafts (which I like to try but aren't good at.

I know seniors today are different than years ago but only if you are healthy and active and have some money. The rest of the people struggle day to day and have to put up with old people jokes.
WHY A TITLE
by: Anonymous

Sounds like you might want to rethink your retirement. I think the change would be better once you felt that you were not forced to leave.

Also look for an over 55 community near your daughter. Should be easier to fit in.

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