by Franklin
You are experiencing what I did and I suspect what countless others have. Be kind to yourself.
These are my thoughts and I am not a professional in this space.
We spend most of our lives being driven by External forces. Sure you wanted , and drove yourself, to be a chef. To be the best. But externally it was your employer who set the overall goal and ( this is key) judged your performance. You, and I and others, were controlled by their expectations and needs.
You have just freed yourself to be lead by none other than YOU. This is a massive mental change.
For me I had to recognize that my freedom came with a price: that price was "being my own boss". I had to set my own goals and take responsibility to Motivate Myself.
You can do this, you can be free and be your own boss.
One step at a time. You are worth it.