Disaster

by Liaura
(Missouri)

Hello, anyone else have a retired husband who isn't "handy"?

Here's a good one: a week before we were heading south for the winter, he decided to buy and install our own wifi router versus keeping the one we had from the local provider.

He just couldn't wait until we came back, it had to be done before. He has absolutely no experience doing this, and it was critical that we have wifi while we were gone to keep our thermostat on and the pipes from freezing.

Of course, it was extremely stressful for me, but he didn't seem to understand his own skillset. I really don't have much confidence in him.

Comments for Disaster

Click here to add your own comments

Tech recommendation
by: Carol/NY

Nothing is fully predictable in technology. That's why experience is so critical.

So just recommend that he NOT take down the old wifi until the new one works... Or that he leaves the old one as is but just unplugs it while trying the new one. That was he can fall back to the old one if the new one is not up and running in time.

Always have a plan B when changing/upgrading technology. The most sophisticated tech geeks know that this is what separates the experts from the newbies. That way everyone can remain calm and cool.

Best,
Carol
Handyman
by: Leaking Ink/MA

There’s usually a learning curve in whatever new endeavor a person takes on. People need to be supported while they learn, sometimes with another’s help, but always with grace and space-to-learn given.

This time around, the timing in taking on this project sounds a bit off-kilter, but please don’t kill his curiosity and willingness to put himself out there and learn from any mistakes he may make along the way.

People aren’t always born handy, but they can certainly learn how to be handy in at least some area. Just because you don’t have any interest in learning how to do/fix things, he does.

Swallow your frustration, and let him learn. If a discussion is to be had, it might be a suggestion to pick a better time to do it, rather than telling him (and the internet world) that he’s not handy. That’s a realization he has to make himself, if it turns out to be true.

Perhaps the timing he chose is a passive-aggressive attempt to squelch being put down and permanently labeled as "not handy."

I’m sorry this incident caused you frustration and that your husband did not meet your expectations. I’m glad you were able to vent about it here instead.
Become a handy wife!
by: Michael - Sunny and Warm Venice Florida

As the old saying goes, "happy wife, happy life." Maybe we should change it to "handy wife, happy life."

So, as Wendy suggested, start watching those YouTube videos! And, just pop into your local Home Depot if there is one nearby.

We needed to fix the toilet, and a lady employee there helped us out with exactly what we needed!
Addendum
by: Liaura

I forgot to mention that whenever he does these projects, he gets frustrated and he throws in the towel. Then, it's up to me to find someone else to complete them because of his low frustration tolerance disorder. Watching a YouTube video only frustrates him more, he just doesn't have the patience.
Use YouTube
by: Wendy, Retirement Enthusiast/Coach

My husband fixes EVERYTHING via YouTube.

Flat-screen TV's, guitars, vintage violin, plumbing, and a lot more... and no, he has no training or experience in any of these.

Just GOOGLE or search via YouTube itself -- the brand name etc... and I pretty much guarantee people have YouTube videos out there, AND their instructions and help is way better than whatever came with the product!

Breathe! Don't sweat the small stuff in life!

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Marriage in Retirement.....