Dumb Things to Do When Retiring

by Irwin Lengel
(Florida)

Either before we retire or after we have retired, sometimes we sit back and ask ourselves foolish questions – you know dumb questions about how our retirement planning and follow-through could have gone.

Below are a few dumb ideas about how our retirement might have gone:

Did you ever sit back and think to yourself, what are some of the things I should have done at the time I retired – you know – something stupid that many of us quite possibly thought about doing and maybe did. Things like:

Gee, now that I am going to have all the time in the world when I retire, in order that I have plenty to do – Why don’t I purchase a home that is much larger than I need and while I am at it, I guess I will get one that is more than I can afford as well.

Also, now that I am going to be retired with a lot of time on my hands – I will watch a lot of TV – more than five and a half hours a day will probably be considered excessive …………..but then one has to allow time for some naps in between.

Or, being a senior citizen with a lot of free time – I might just take up gambling as there are quite a few casinos not too far from my house. What better way for a senior to spend his or her time than sitting in a smoke-filled room sticking quarters in the slot machines while smoking cigarettes and drinking booze.

Since I no longer have to keep up appearances – meaning having expensive clothes to go to work in - I can spend more time shopping for Bermuda shorts, flip-flops, baseball caps, and other useless items for around the house.

When I get bored with cleaning the big house, watching TV, gambling at the casino, and shopping for unnecessary items, I can invite some other older retirees over and we can sit on the front porch just complaining about life in general.

Just had another whiz-bang idea – now that I am retired and doing pretty good financially, I think I will just remind my kids that they shouldn’t expect any money when I kick the bucket as I am spending their inheritance by spending my money foolishly.

Or the reverse could be true – I could become a miser with my money – but why do that – I cannot take it with me – or can I?

Being retired doesn’t mean being dead so we still should watch our health as a dumb move would be to ignore our health. To address that issue – I will join the Silver Sneakers program which is paid for by my Medicare Advantage Plan, but instead of exercising I will just attend and ogle the 80 year-old biddies trying to look 50.

Appears to be a sound plan for retirement to me – what do you think?

Pay no attention to what you have just read as the writer had a serious brain-fart while attempting to write a weekly post!

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