Comments for Early Retirement: Depressed and
not enjoying life anymore

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Happy
by: Fred Gates

My advice is simple.

First thing each morning count your blessings of all that you still have. "I can still hear, I can still breathe, My heart is still beating .... etc."

Make a list of everything you still have and think how much worse off you would be if you did not have them.

Stop feeling sorry for yourself over what you have lost. You're only wasting your time.

Develop your sense of humor.

Make as many friends and as few enemies as possible.

Don't worry. Be happy.
Just retired and trying to adjust
by: Wood of England

Firstly, I must say that the comments on the website are so helpful to me - I am so lucky, having retired on full benefits after 40 years in the same company, aged 57 and living in the English countryside; but I feel a mixture of emotions including anxiety and some inexplicable guilt.

Some of the letters I have read here are really helping me come to terms with what is, after all, a new life.
It feels like starting at a new school - the apprehension about what's to come and seemingly no control over events.

So, having read so many helpful comments on Retirement Online, my Plan A is to go back to part time work but only when I feel like it, talk myself out of feeling guilty and start getting involved with wildlife protection schemes. Just feeding the birds / building simple bird nesting boxes seems a good start and can be done without spending too much money.

[I think what I'm trying to say is this - it's good to know that I'm not alone with these feelings] and there is always something to do out there other than polishing the car.

I must get on now - my wife will be home in an hour or so and I am going to attempt to cook a pizza for her. There's another thing to do. Baking...Making dough is so therapeutic and it cleans your fingernails too! (only joking).

[Wendy:] Just had to say I LOVE hearing that reading others stories helped... just as it should! Thank you!
Retire in 6 days
by: Anonymous

I put in two weeks notice last week. Have always been an excellent worker but for last two years was tired of doing the same thing every day after 22 years. I started letting my job performance deteriorate and was counseled about tardiness.

Decided to leave before my reputation was ruined.

I'm 52 have some health issues but can still work. Thought I'd feel freedom but only feel anxiety. I thought I wanted to take some time to enjoy free time but find myself looking at want ads and kicking myself for not just going in on time and leaving a well paying good benefits, but no retirement, job.

I saved over half my pay check for those years so I could do this but it feels like walking off a cliff and my faith in being caught safely is lacking.

Mostly I'm afraid and keep picturing the dozens of people who would love to have my job and will be lining up to apply.

Wendy: Things DO get better, I retired at 55, much like you at 52. To me, At 52, you cannot Retire from Life... you are way too young to do that. You CAN change jobs, work online for yourself, find a whole new YOU inside -- just give yourself time and it will come! Really!

p.s. if you choose to write again, at some point, consider writing your own page (right column WRITE HERE box) instead of a comment. Then others can comment back too you with their two cents!
How low can you get?
by: Mark

I am 63 and retired 10 years ago. Have slowly been going nuts with boredom. The process has speeded up recently and I am starting to have really dark thoughts.

Wendy: After ten years, you really should have found a new lifestyle. I assume you haven't been doing nothing for ten years... maybe you just quit doing something you enjoyed?
What did I do wrong?
by: Mr. Smith

Your page has been Moved here.

Now, Instead of being a comment on another page --it is it's own page and others can now help you with their comments, ok?

Click to see it and return in a few days or a week to see the responses it gets.
Planning To Retire by 52
by: Krish

Hai,

Iam an Indian, Engineer by Profession and planning to retire by 52 ie is 3 years from now.

No plans can make one happy. My only concern is Medical. In India Health is not secured. I am planning to keep aside a good amount for Health and have minimum Health insurance done.

I plan to take a small flat in a fully gated community with all amenities like Club, Pool, Courts, Shopping and a big garden.

My revenue is the income from rentals.

I plan to do social service.

Hope I can be happy.
I worry for them
by: Helena

My parents do not live in australia - but I am an Australian citizen. My father retired 10 years ago but decided to resign from his job since then due to his inability to keep up. Mum retired last year. I am noticing a breakdown in both, relationship issues, negative, depression (I am convinced after researching the topic).

What can I do to help? Fact that I live thousands off miles away is not helping.
going and scared
by: Dot

Dot,

I moved your story to it's own page.. that way other retirees can comment on it (back to you).

It's at this link... go back a few times in the next week or so to see what others have to say. Add your own comment too!!

Retiring and Scared
newly retired
by: Anonymous

We both retired and moved to husbands home town to be near family. I am 58, husband is 60, but jobs became so stressful after 25 years that I was having stress headaches.

We have no kids and are not close to our siblings..we moved here to be near cousins and so hubby can go fishing...our house is paid off but I am depressed, worried about the future and neither of us knows if we made a wise decision...we feel like the bigger town was our home but had no friends or family just our jobs.
.
another retirement wo
by: Anonymous

Moved to this page:
Another Retirement Woe so that others can comment!.

Thanks!
I found work at 58
by: Anonymous

husband and I both took early retirements after working for about 35 years each, he is working at a janitor job, (yep quite different), and I am working for a call center. We do not have big paying jobs like we did for Hewlett Packard and Union Tribune in the big city (San Diego Ca.) but are very happy in a small town in Texas. Just keep Going.. you must not weaken, take any job. You will be surprized how happy you will be.
Retirement: forced out: has nothing to do with ablility: just age
by: Anonymous

I just was offered the option of keeping my job by moving across the country (which the knew I would turn down because they already asked me and I said I couldn't do it since it would mean my husband having to give up his job and move to an area of the country where housing costs much more). Or leave with a severance.

All sounds good I suppose, but since they singled me out I instead feel horribly depressed, embarrassed (I have always been considered a top performer) and angry.

It is a horrible way to end a career (at 62, four years earlier than necessary) and the key reasons seems to be age and salary.

I feel outraged that colleagues I have worked with for over 10 years have simply decided "time to go, old lady" despite my ability to contribute being as good or better than ever.

Wendy Quite honestly, I hear you. Been there with many other retirees who felt just the same.

Most of them didn't let on to co-workers, they smiled happily that they were lucky enough to retire. In reality, they were not happy as they were "forced out". Some actually DID resign, but forced out still.

You made the decision to retire, but what you choose to do after retirement is up to you. The retirement transition period isn't always easy.
If you are already angry, depression may follow,.. and that's never a good thing,

You really need to keep busy to stay off the depression path. Visit your doctor if you need additional help.

All I can say, in the end, is what my mother often said to me:

This too shall pass... and it does.

I hope you will take time to plan your next few months, especially in the dead of winter which isn't the best time to retire.

Go on vacation, take a class, plan lunch outings with friends... just don't sit there!

Best Wishes!
retired early
by: bruce

I retired early and you need to give it time and look for a new career, and not the money but doing something different. Don't get into bad habits like TV all day long. Join a gym, volunteer, and enjoy your life.
Retired at age 51
by: Becky

Loved my job for 7 years. Last 2 years big changes for the worst. Not happy. No advancements to move me into a happier position. Husband retired. He wanted to travel. So I quit my job in November of 2010. Depression started.

Felt lonely, purposeless. On medication for awhile. Recently stopped working. Feeling alone and very sad. Tried some volunteer work. That slowed down. Now I am depressed again. Live far from opportunities to volunteer. Tried to volunteer at a few places... and surprise, the volunteers are either on a waiting list or something else.

I keep hitting a brick wall every time I finally get off my backside and do something to get out there. Very discouraging. To make matters worse, my husband is very unsupportive in all this. So It just makes all of this worse.

Alone and depressed............Becky

Becky you do need to get o-u-t.... we all need to be needed, volunteering or part time work is just perfect. If not, consider a blog (look to the left for "retiree blogs" to see what others are writing about.. LIFE). You simply need something - hobby, work, volunteer, something to keep busy! Best wishes!
its normal
by: Anonymous

Hi- I retired a little over 2 months ago.

After 30 years of service. I was not forced to retire but things were changing and while I
had considered retiring in 2 or 3 yrs, things
are changing and I wanted to "lock in" the current
retirement.

The first month was good - the freedom to do
what I wanted when I wanted to. (by the way I am 56) but about 3-4 weeks ago I began getting depressed and anxious and miss the social interaction.

I am writing this to let you know you are not
alone - I am finding getting cleaned up and
getting out of the house is helping and I am sure
that I will get through the depression and anxiety
I am sure you will too --- hang in there Okay?

WENDY: I have a Retirement Transition group (online groups to the left) if you'd like to join it!
Falling apart
by: Patricia

I retired June 2010 because of a voluntary early retirement package. I have had back problems for years and the sitting was killing me.

The amount of monthly annuity was not high enough but I talked myself into going because of the rumors of my job going 2 hours away and that our hourly pay could drop.

My husband discouraged me from going because of the loss in pay but I did it anyway. We had 1 month to decide on retirement and I guess with the rumors and the pain in my back and the excitement of doing what I wanted convinced me.

Since retiring I have worried about money all the time even though I have paid my bills and have some left over and have had many health issues.

I went back to my back doctor and had tests and found I have a crack in my spine and will need therapy and then maybe surgery. I have had sinus infections and have been mildly depressed.

I want to start living each day with excitement but have so many worries. I sit around watching tv because it doesn't costs me much.

Every time you leave the house it costs at least $20 it seems. I am enjoying my pets but my sadness is always there. I can't go get another job because I am now temporary disabled.

Any hints would be appreciated. thank you!

Wendy: Why don't you join the Retirement Transition group.. its simply a group (via email) and we talk about the good and bad days. IT's mot easy retiring.. but it does get better!!

Click on Email Friendships on the left bar, then Retirement Transition! Hope to see you join us!
I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL
by: Anonymous

I worked for 34 years at the same job (which I loved)and they closed the doors.

At 50 years of age I now had to do resumes and look for work. No one would even talk to me because of my age. I miss the people I worked with and their families. I haven't seen my son for 6 years.

I'm just existing in a cave and not enjoying life as it was meant to be. There is no joy in my life. My doctor has me on anti-depressants.

I live off a small pension until 60(I am now 57). My present wife doesn't understand.

Need help!

Wendy: Please email me and join the Retirement Transition group where you can chat via email with others going through the same thing. It really does help!
I there with you but...............
by: Granni Jani

I retired 6 months ago after 38 years as a flight. I am 62 and in darn good shape (for my age....I hate it when people say that!).

I was so worried about the airline industry, I decided to grab the small pension I had left and go!! There were other reasons, but I really felt I had put in my time and now, as I look back, I really talked myself into retirement. I never gave a thought to the idea that I might regret it.

I went from flying around the world, lunch in Paris, shopping in Beijing, dinner in Rome, with great days off, and good pay and benefits.

I went from that to picking up dog poop every day, washing clothes, running my husbands errands and cooking dinner every night.

It hit a few months ago how much I missed my job and how boring my life had become. I really made a BIG mistake in retiring. My friends were still out there flying leaving me behind.

I had a mini breakdown, crying and feeling very sick to my stomach. I didn't even want to get out of bed any more. I am going through a mourning period for my lost career right now. I feel I need to go through this and then I know I MUST go on to another chapter. I can't go back, I can only go forward. I made a decision I must live with and find another path. You know we don't have any other choice.

One step forward, two steps back, but eventually both of us will be OK.

I hope you are doing better and we can both move on.

Wendy: Jani, Years ago, in Pre-Retirement Planning classes, the Director of Senior Citizen Services would tell those planning their retirements to "allow yourself to grieve".

Like anything in life, retirement is a personal loss (work life, co-workers, your work identity).
She would say to give yourself time to work it out, cry if you must, and in time, you'll find your way into retirement and who you choose to be out there.

Best Wishes to your NEW Retirement Future!!
Volunteering
by: John

Thanks Wendy, I will be volunteering at my local SPCA starting next week.

Wendy: Good for you... and if it doesn't work out for you, try the next place. There is no harm in trying -- you might just enjoy it too!
Retired & depressed
by: Anonymous

Note to Wendy - Congrats on your coming retirement and for sure, you will never be depressed. You are so involved in so many interests, and you have prepared so well for retirement, I know it will be an exciting time for you.

I can understand that it is different for
a person who was terminated too soon from a job after many years,and is struggling to pay the bills.

In my mid-50s I couldn't find a job but I learned new skills and began a new career. Then
I retired at age 67.

I've been busy ever since I retired and now I am 89.

Elinor

Wendy: Elinor, you are a fantastic example of retirement for many of us. Always active, always keeping folks informed with your writing! You Go Girl!

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