Hard Retirement and Son Died

by Carol
(Surrey, BC Canada)

I retired at age 69, only been retired 2 months and everything went downhill. Rarely ever sick and been sick the whole time with no let up.

As if that was not bad enough, my 36 year old son just died of a drug overdose. This has been a horrible retirement for me. No kid should die before their parent. It's hard to deal with on top of everything else. I wrote a few letters to this blog before. But that was before my son died.

All I can say is its good thing I am off work, I could not deal with this and have to work as well.

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Death
by: Carol

I forgot to mention, that not only did my son die of a fentanyl overdose, but 4 years ago my husband's daughter, only 24, also died of an overdose. That is two in four years for us and too much to bear. We just got over his daughter's death and now this.

We are wondering how to get through it. My husband was devastated when his daughter died and could not work for 3 years, it was his only child. I have two other daughters to focus on at least.

This is hitting him hard again, we all knew my son had problems and been dealing with his issues for years. We feel defeated.

Life is not fair sometimes, thank god we at least have each other. It was hard on our marriage, but we did get through one death together and it made us stronger. Now we just have to get through this one.

Plus one of my daughters has taken it hard as well. I'm worried for her as she has a rather wild life style at age 47, very successful, good job but parties a lot. No husband or kids. I worry for her now, she blames herself for her brothers death, said she was not there enough for him. My son's father is also devastated as it was his only son.
Thinking of you
by: Leaking Ink/Massachusetts

Carol,

I am so sorry for your loss and that the drug crisis has stolen yet another young person from us. As you mourn the death of your son, take time for yourself. Know that there are others who care about you and what you are going through right now.
Sympathy
by: Susie Woodstock, il

There are no words that could adequately Express the sympathy I feel for you for the loss of your son. My sister who I was very close to also lost her son in his forties from suicide, it is a hurt that you never recover from.

I do believe the pain will get less and hopefully you will have some happy memories with your son to re help you.

God bless
Hard retirement
by: Sherry Stewart

Dear Carol, I am so sorry about your son's death! You are in mourning now! Life if really hard sometimes and time will help you.

Find someone to talk to this will help you to think through things.

If you believe in prayer this will help too!
So sorry
by: Doris

I am so sorry for the tragic loss of your son. Years ago, after my mother retired, my sister died from leukemia and three weeks after that my father died. It was an extremely, extremely difficult time for my mom. I do not know how she dealt with it.

I tried my best to be there for her, but was consumed with family matters and did my best to help. Anyway, she did survive her losses and went on to live to her 100th year.

I have never lost anyone to a drug overdose, but this seems to be a major issue today and I do not think you are alone. Maybe, when you feel a bit stronger you can find a group to help you cope with your loss and you can perhaps help others.

Again, I am so sorry.
So sorry for your loss
by: Anonymous

God bless you in this sad time. Condolences for your loss.
Retirement and Bad news
by: Anonymous

Actually one's son or daughter dying before the parent is so sad and tragic that an easy part time job might be the best thing that could happen to you. Starbucks or McDonald's or something like that.

Good luck, what can anyone say in the face of such tragedy?
OMG - very similar story
by: ppp green bay

so sorry to hear your story. my story is very similar....i retired and in one year my 38 year old son died from cancer. A child's death is devastating no matter how it happened. you wonder "how can this happen to me".

I retired in 2014 and my son was diagnosed 6 months after and died 5 months after. It was incomprehensible to believe and understand. IT TAKES TIME. And yes, the only good thing was that I was retired and as the pain was so awful, I was at home to try to survive this. I did survive.

It will be 4 years soon. I am still, as you will be, sad inside so much yet, but somehow you come out of the intense grief. I wish you the best. It is a very hard journey, painful journey but somehow, you live through it.

Joy in life is never the same anymore but you find the will to live again. I did go on depression pills (still on them) and sleeping pills just to give my body time to heal in peace. It is awful and no one can tell you different.

Take care....plp from Green Bay
Hard times
by: Sherry

I am so sorry to learn of the death of your son and your illness.

Time will help you and I do hope you have good memories of your son!

Life is hard, but try and be grateful everyday for your life!
Hard retirement and son dies
by: Marcia., Pennsylvania

So sorry to hear about the loss of your son. There are no words a person can say to ease the loss of a child. It is a terrible grief that you never want to experience. Just take it one day at a time and make sure to take care of your health. Know that many thoughts and prayers are sent your way.

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