How this site helps the Donut Queen

by Sharol
(Michigan)

Well, my on-line friend, the first thing I want to do is to thank you for this wonderful site.

The second thing is to tell you how helpful this site and the groups I joined, the people I connected too because of it, were truly important as I navigated the early years of retirement.

The last thing I want to share is how important your influence, and the many articles and books you have written, as well as those you promoted, have impacted not only my retirement but my life.

I have made many mistakes in my life, but my life for the most part has been good. My role in life was a teacher and caregiver for my mother, so in my way of thinking I didn’t have time to think of me. But I also naively thought there would be time for me get my personal wants and desires, so I focused on being the best teacher and daughter I could be.

When I first retired, I was shocked I was so old, so wrinkled, and I was afraid I had run out of time. My life had been me always doing anything that others wanted and expected me to do and the thought of being a full time caregiver and alone for the rest of my life was both scary and depressing.

As I struggled with that, there were other things too that complicated my life. That is when I came across your site and for the first time I realized that others were going through the same or similar things and the responses, the answers were to work through it. Working through things was what I had done my whole life, so my goal was to work through this and find a balance.

Unfortunately, since this was new to me, I made many mistakes, some of which I was able to overcome, but others had such a negative impact on me that what I actually did was hid behind my role of caregiver, and then my younger brother was now added to my responsibilities too.

There where times of joy, times I felt good, but there were more times I felt unhappy and like a failure, meanwhile I was getting older and more wrinkled every day.

However, starting in late June of this year, first my younger brother passed away and then my mother, age 98, when downhill and near the end of July she passed away too.

I found myself for the first time in my life without a role, and fear set in.

So, as I read this article today on ‘Ageism’ it became like a light in the tunnel of darkness my life was in. I'm not quite sure how yet, but I know one thing I’m going to work through everything.

I just wanted you to know how you and this site have encouraged me time after time to keep the positive thoughts, that I can make it and age is not a factor.

Thank you for sharing.

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