by HAROLD AND MARIANNE CRAWFORD
(EL PASO TX)
In all good marriages, no matter how long it lasts, no matter how happy it is , there has to be a peace maker, one at least.
Not to brag but I consider myself a peace maker.
I answer my wife with “yes dear, o dear!” I know why I answer that way – because I can.
If she does not understand what I am telling her, I try to tell her another way... and if she still doesn't understand, i put the subject on hold for a while, until later on.
We have been married for 52 years now... but one does not hear of peace makers in marriage. Yes our marriage has had it's ups and downs... and being a peace maker most of the time, it was my fault. Since my wife was growing more wiser in retirement, our talks were more pleasant.
The subject of money comes up less then we were first married. This was not one of my strong points. i had made some bad investments, and lost a lot of money. Three years ago, I had a chapter thirteen due to a finance company could not work out a plan to help. No way they said. That chapter 13 will be up this month... being on a low fixed income taught us a good lesson.
Being 75 years young taught me a lesson – from now on, no more uncontrolled credit. Experts say "money" is the main cause of a good marriage going bad.
I think retirement has taught us both real good reason why we are still together . In retirement, our words are more quiet, and understanding. When husband and wife are always shouting at each other, they have no reason to listen to the other or to understand each other.
Another thing people do is prepare for their retirement age when they are in the young age. i was a more of a talker of retirement, then a doer!
And worst that that, in retirement and married problems, I refused to seek help in others that could help in such matters. In retirement, now we are far better then we were before.
Yes, we made mistakes, retirements taught us a lot of good lessons!
Seek help if you do not know how to handle your problems.
All the best to you always.