Miss Your Husband?

by Maverick
(Canada)

I live in a seniors' complex and most of the women are widows. Currently, I have five of these women wanting me -- also a widow -- to visit them. And I don't want to go!

We have nothing in common except for our widowhood, so why should I waste my time?

I have my own interests that keep me interested and busy and I find the days are far too short for idle chatter. Also -- and this may horrify some folks -- I am enjoying life without the complication of a man!

All my married life I wanted to go somewhere alone and sometimes I managed it, but not without feelings of guilt afterwards. Now, though I can't get around as I used to, I like living alone, with no one to cater to -- except for my lovely cat, of course!

I daren't sign this for fear of offending someone I know because I've never met any widow who doesn't miss her husband. Is there anybody out there who feels as I do?

Comments for Miss Your Husband?

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Flying Solo
by: Nina from London

Hello,

What I discovered is that after I went through grieving there was a rainbow. By getting involved in a charity near me plus a senior centre, I have lots of activities to keep me busy. Also, I began to reflect on what I wanted to do.

Most of all I relish my freedom. My daughter is all set and independent and the only person I have to worry about is me. It is heavenly!

But then not everyone is thrilled to fly solo. I have a friend who is a widow and constantly misses her husband. If you have friends that you can do things with who are fun to be with ...then spend more time with them. Those that aren't interesting you can gradually lose by not being available.

All I know is that life is meaningful and there are lots of exciting adventures. Soon I will be going to Maastricht in Holland which I'm looking forward to.

Best of Luck in your retirement, Nina
Unneccessary company
by: Anonymous

I also enjoy my own company. I have many projects to do. Kids who come and see me or call and talk.
I also live in a senior community and most of us are women. There are many activities here. I went on the "bus" with others to a local farmers market.

I taught until I was 71 and thought it was time to slow down, especially after a stroke.

One new person calls several times a day to talk or wants me to take her to lunch or dinner... she always wants to give me some fruit or whatever. I think that some people just wilt if they are not around others. It takes them about 2 hours to wilt.

I was married and he is on his third wife.
Widows need to find hobbies
by: Anonymous

Your friends need to find hobbies, life is to short to just sit around and gab, sounds like they are lost without a man.

I enjoy doing what I want when I want but I also enjoy having a man with me on weekends for dinner and movies or just to go out somewhere, lonely older people are out there everywhere men and women, they just need to find each other.

This is a good time of year to do just that. lots of church doings, chicken BBQ's garage sales, dinners, they need to get out of their apartments.
Single
by: Anonymous

Sometimes it is a relief not to feel attached.
Not a widow
by: Anonymous

so nice to see that someone does not think that a man in you life is the only important thing. i am not a widow but have been single for many years and have always found it difficult to have friends because every women i know has to check with her husband before we do anything.

most women if they don't have a man are looking for one.

I have been married twice but am quite comfortable without a man especially as i go into retirement. go out and enjoy yourself ...
old older oldest
by: Sharyn~~~CANADA

U don't mention what your age is ! & 1 day u will wish u had made 1 or 2 loyal friends ~ female friends ~ These woman will be there for u when u become lonely, r alone & u will wish u had someone there for u ~ The older 1 becomes (most of us anyhow ) & the longer 1 lives, usually we may need a buddy or 2 to be there for us. If u have an accident, fall & sprain yur ankle or break yur hip, who will be there for u? U best ponder that thought for awhile! Oh sure, the health care team can come in & do WHAT must be done, u r part of a community, however, these people r not yur BUDDY* they r there at yur home to do their work & then leave u to own devices. Good luck with that~~if u don't have a good loyal friend on yur side~~ Anyhow best of luck to u & may a higher power be there for u in times of stress. ~~~~

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