My desires have been quenched

by Scott
(suburban Chicago)

I was out of work on 12-28-13 from a grocery chain which went out of business.

Was only 3 months from a pension, so I just retired at 60 and drew a pension. I was looking forward to it and for the first few months in the winter, was fine.

I live solo and am unmarried and apparently will be okay financially.

As soon as spring arrived last year, I was suddenly hit with panic attacks and anxiety; came out of nowhere. Don't have many close friends and most are busy with family and jobs.

I was looking forward to traveling and camping (solo). I live as a semi-recluse and didn't even realize it. Now I'm living the lifestyle I created for myself. I ride a bicycle and hike a local woods just to do something and make myself tired enough to sleep at night.
My day begins with getting up about 8:30 am, making coffee, watching the weather channel, nursing a cigarette and trying to deal with racing thoughts. I will eventually eat, hike, or bicycle and try to fill the day out with.......?
Anybody out there similar to this or can relate to?

It might just be better to get this off my chest just to write it out. Any feed back will be appreciated.
I just hope my mental strength and desires and confidence return. the worst part about it is it's kind of an in and out thing.

Thanks,
Scott

Comments for My desires have been quenched

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I can truly relate!
by: Karen/Delaware

The story you posted sounds so similar to mine. I retired last year from a burn-out job (actually I feel I was kind of forced to retire, but don't want to go into detail about that on here).

Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts and the emotions you have experienced - I've been going through much of the same and was wondering if I was normal!

So glad things are working out for you, as this gives me hope as well.
I have a great idea
by: Soky/Tampa FL

I would like to propose to Wendy that we all meet one day! Why not a Retirement Community Fest? We can know each other better and have a great time enjoying each other's company. It would be like a Retirement Getting-To-Know-You Party!

I'm 66 now, but still remember my Sweet 16 party in New York City. Just a thought...

WENDY: Ooooh, Soky -- thats a fabulous idea! Maybe I will do a post, soon, to get an idea if anyone would be interested. That could be fun, finally meeting each other in person! Woo hoo!
An import an turning point
by: Elna Nugent

I was so impressed you were able to put your panicky feelings down on paper which can help get some of the negative thought-energy flow out of you.

Congratulations. This could be a turning point for you.

The setbacks you mentioned are so important to your growth because they are lessons forcing you tp develop emotional, psychological and spiritual muscles that couldn't be strengthened otherwise.

You will eventually find out that you are a "miracle in motion." You have already learned some important survival lessons many of us need to learn. You could teach people about them. LIfe coach Tim Storrey claims we all have a dream somewhere inside of us that has a voice and we should "start listening to it."

Also it would be great if you could get some insight from a trained reliable counselor who could help you understand why you are having panic attacks and how they can be managed. They should be taken seriously.

Sometimes we need something shocking to get our attention and force us to go for help. Someday you may look back on these difficulties and thank them for being the jolt you needed to begin a renewed and rewarding life.

God bless.
Elna
the stages of retirement
by: Teresa/Florida

I think maybe many of us were not quite prepared for retirement--it's easier to plan the times before retirement but then it seems like we often think of retirement as something magical that just happens and we'll live happily ever after!

I have experienced the panic attacks too (this is my 2nd year of retirement) and they do come and go, but I agree with Wendy that it's normal.

We are in a very different place and according to experts, we may have 20-30 more years of this! It is scary!

But we are in charge and that's very exciting--we can find new interests, new places, and new ways to spend our time--allow yourself time to figure out what those new things are.
Me too
by: Hans, Calgary, Canada

Hi Scott

I'm about your age and left my job a little earlier than I planned as well.

I've been struggling with depression.

I made three mistakes:

1. I always relied on acquaintances at work or school for stimulation-no separate long term friends

2. I left without a plan of what to do next, or having dabbled in non-work activities.

3.I let bitterness at my managers build up and it is irrelevant now.

Hard as it may be, I think I'm going to have to approach new people and have shared activities fall out of that.

Good luck to you.

H
My Desires Have Been Quenched
by: Soky/Tampa FL

Hi Scott, I totally know how you feel. I had been so miserable since retiring, and could not for the life of me find myself.

I plunged into a marriage in a far away country and realized that I was just fooling myself. So I came back to Tampa FL to live close to my grown children, but found out that they have their own lives. We do visit frequently, but I'm still lonely.

So I decided to rent a studio apartment and am excited about the prospect of decorating and fixing it up to suit my likes. Then, after that I would like to take up a hobby or something to keep me busy.

It does get lonely, Scott, but you'll be okay. You have me and a whole lot of other friends in this community.
Wendy is wonderful and is always looking out for us.

God bless you and please keep in touch. You can DO!!!!!
volunteer
by: Anonymous

Have a great outdoor summer but in the fall find a way to help other people. There are many organizations that can help you find something satisfying.
totally normal
by: Rose Raintree Arlington Wa.

Scott I too went through the first year of my retirement in similar ways and had periods of elation, depression, anxiety as well.

I live alone and have no close friends, some acquaintances near by and some good friends at a distance, but none I can really spend time with. I do have my son and his family and my granddaughter is a real positive in my life as well.

Having been an RN for 35 years adjusting to being really alone for most days was a shock to me. I ran around frantic thinking I would go back to work, though inside I knew that was not what I needed to do.

You are doing some good things that will bring you back to a place of balance and that is biking and exercise. I joined a gym and I walk every day and I have taken up gardening and found that gives me great pleasure in fact this year took on a major remake of both my front and back yards and I loved it.

I don't know if you believe in God but that was also a great source of comfort and support that got me to the place I am today.

Today I find I enjoy and love me more than I ever did before and my family is seeing the difference as well and it is bringing my son and I closer. So hang in there and keep moving forward creating positive things for yourself and be open to even discovering some new experiences.

I too had hoped to travel as I love to do that but while I am comfortable financially travel is not something I can afford much of except trips around Washington.

But just hand in there and stay connected to here and now and keep moving forward God bless
thanks, Wendy
by: Scott

Thanks Wendy, I appreciate the feedback
Hello Scott,
by: Wendy

You are perfectly normal...unfortunately, this happens to lots of us... and why o h why?

It sounds like you've got it all worked out. Seriously.

WHY the sudden anxiety? Don't know...

You and only you hold the key to your future. You can do this.. it's summertime, soon, and you can have the BEST summer ever... if you choose to do so.

When the next anxiety fit happens, ask yourself "Whats the worse that can happen?" It's usually not that bad... and the worry only serves to keep us from the BEST in life.

best wishes! Wendy

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