Retirement: Should Be Happier

by Janet
(Willington CT)

I retired from my second career on April 1st. Career #1 - US Air Force; career #2 - University of Connecticut. I turned 60 two weeks before I retired.

I was so so excited to start my retirement but am now pretty sad. I don't regret retiring but I am shocked that I was pretty much "forgotten" as soon as I walked out the door. We were all like a family so this is very hard.

Even my "bff" has stopped talking to me. I was her supervisor but we were also the best of friends. So much so that I was considered her 3 kid's second grandmother. She is in essence blaming me for retiring, says by trying to stay friends I am "smothering" her, etc.

We unfortunately see the same therapist who has been trying to mediate. I told the therapist yesterday that I don't want her to do that anymore. If my alleged bff still wants me in her life, she knows where to find me.

The whole thing has caused deep depression, panic attacks, and second guessing the therapist. I need to shake it off but I can't seem to. When I think I have a handle on it, I get kicked down again.

I miss my friends, I miss being able to stop by the office, I miss a little bit of everything. My therapist is telling me I need to learn to separate myself from it but it's been like a roller coaster so far.

I'm single so I have way too much time to sit and think when I am home. Thanks for "listening."

Comments for Retirement: Should Be Happier

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What's coming next?
by: Elna Nugent, Lenox, MA

Janet: You have listed one career and then a second. What's next? you have a third career gnawing gently at you for attention, It may have to wait a little while you go through an important interim period.

You would be astounded if you knew how important each day of our lives ranks in the scheme of things. We live in a galaxy teeming with life and a caring universe "applauds" our efforts.

Right now it is time to be selfish in your own right. Time for you to make sure your body is healthy and that you eat and move around enough to insure this. Make of yourself a fit tool for the vocation you could embrace in the future.

There is something in you that you have always dreamed of wanting to do, but you have placed is on the shelf of your childhood and perhaps forgotten it.

We each have a "lifework" inborn in us. It may be salaried or unsalaried. Every work, every discipline, every skill you have applied to your former work can help you in your next"project". Anything you can do --if it helps others as well as it helps yourself -- will be successful.

If you are computer savvy, you can apply it to a home business. After the confetti in your mind settles, you will find your way. Trust the process and welcome each day. You have much to offer.

searching
by: Anonymous

I went through a similar thing when I first retired whenever I would see former co-workers we would start a conversation but found after a while that we didn't have much in common anymore. also I think I may have been a reminder of what they would like to do which was be retired!

try to maybe get some hobbies and meet more friends with similar interests; there's lots of opportunity to join groups on facebook.

I took up photography this year and I'm loving the whole aspect of learning at my own pace. learning any new skill is good exercise for your brain tooand there is so much free information available online.

it up to you to do it, good luck
You Owe Yourself So Much More!
by: Wendy

D*&^ GIrl.. how does this happen?

You've worked a lifetime at two prestigious employers. You are now entitled to a fabulous time playing retiree -- whatever that means to you.

You need purpose in your life. What on earth could you do to continue to help others, while remaining retired? There is a big ole world out there, start looking at the big picture.

Join the Retirement Community (right side bar) and chat with others online.

Best Wishes!

p.s. She was no "bff"... just a co-worker. That often happens, you no longer share the same daily experiences, or lunches, or chat... and find you are no longer friends. I am sorry about that, and pray another TRUE friend comes along into your world.

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