Senior Dating Ads
by Tom Damron
(Plano, Texas)
Senior Dating Ads
You can say what you want about the South, but you've never heard of anyone retiring and moving North.
These are actual ads seen in ''TheVillages'' Florida newspaper.
Who says seniors don't have a sense of humor?
FOXY LADY:
Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty, 80's, slim, 5'4' (used to be 5'6'),
Searching for sharp-looking, sharp-dressing companion.
Matching white shoes and belt a plus.
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LONG-TERM COMMITMENT:
Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband,
Looking for someone to round out a six-unit plot. Dizziness, fainting, shortness of breath not a problem.
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SERENITY NOW
I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the ocean, yoga and meditation. If you are the silent type, let's get together, take our hearing aids out and enjoy quiet times.
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WINNING SMILE:
Active grandmother with original teeth seeking a dedicated flosser to share rare steaks, corn on the cob and caramel candy.
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BEATLES OR STONES?
I still like to rock, still like to cruise in my Camaro on Saturday nights and still like to play the guitar.
If you were a groovy chick, or are now a groovy hen, let's get together and listen to my eight-track tapes.
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MEMORIES:
I can usually remember Monday through Thursday.
If you can remember Friday, Saturday and Sunday, let's put our two heads
together.
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My favorite
MINT CONDITION:
Male, 1932 model, high mileage, good condition, some hair, many new parts including hip, knee, cornea, valves.
Isn't in running condition, but walks well.
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Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many.
