Stuck in Retirement

by David
(Somerset)

After delivering mail for forty five years and working with 200 other postmen and women, I retired.

8 months later, I have lost all motivation and seen councillors, doctor, hypnotherapist, reiki, bowens, medium, clairvoyant,t ried to return to church, isolated myself from ex workmates, upset family and stuck in loop, saying same things, every day.

Dog was bought for me but I just talk to people I meet about not knowing what to do.

Three years have passed and I long to laugh and enjoy life again.

Comments for Stuck in Retirement

Click here to add your own comments

i felt the same
by: didgens

I have been going through the same feelings since retirement almost 6 months ago,, but its getting better,, i started a painting class through the local senior center after Christmas,, now i enjoy painting even when im not in the class.

i also walk a couple times a week with a friend and go to the YMCA from time to time. I'm thinking about getting a newer car to take a few road trips to visit friends.

WIth amazon delivery, INstacart delivery and Door Dash or Grub Hub there are so many part time delivery companies you could work a couple days or a couple hours a week at your pace to get you moving ,,you just need to take the firs t step to get you moving ,, then a body in motion will stay in motion !!
Things to do
by: Wee-zer

I am still not that satisfied being retired. But I do have a few things that don't cost me anything that I do every day.

First of all, I read a lot of on line newspapers including my local paper. I like to read current events, weird stories and things happening in the world. I visit, my local paper, AOL, Yahoo, CNN, MSN, Huff Post, NY Post. There are others I like to visit like Washington Post and some others that will let you read a few articles a month but to read everything, every day it requires a subscription. I don't want to pay and most stories are on free sites anyway.

I also play online Checkers and Spider Solitaire. Both are very challenging and require a lot of brain power to win the games! Just got into checkers and never realized how much strategy is needed to overcome your opponent.

I have a couple of books I want to read but never seem to find time to read them! Books are great and there a millions of them. Find some subject matter you are interested in and read! History is great and as I kid I despised it. I found it to be the most boring thing on earth. Now that I am OLD, I find it extremely interesting. It amazes me how smart our forefathers were without computers or sophisticated equipment. How on earth did they build things without computers like the bridges in NY, some over 100 years old!

Another thing I never did but kind of regret is journaling. I guess it is never too late. Take your journal with you and record things you observe. For instance, go to a park and describe what you see. Birds, children on swings, trees in the spring, trees in the fall. The aroma's in the air such as flowers or how the earth smells after a rain. The colors and varieties of flowers. Strange people, normal people. Record your thoughts.

Consider getting a part time job. Just to get out and socialize. Walmart is always hiring. Auto part stores hire drivers to deliver parts to auto repair shops. There are a lot of grocery stores and restaurants that deliver to the customer too. Maybe you could consider delivering newspapers early in the morning to homes and then go out to a diner and have breakfast. Diners are good places to meet people.

Join a local gym or YMCA! Join your local Senior Center, take tennis lessons, piano lessons, join a group or two on Meet Ups to go hiking, biking, out to dinner, singles groups, wine trail groups. We have a distillery that offers free tours. I have not done that yet but want to. Go to your state parks and take pictures of wooden bridges, waterfalls.

My Mother, taught herself to can fruits and veggies. She entered a local competition at the local country fair and won about 8 ribbons for her canned products! I was so proud of her! This was not that long after her husband died (my Father).

We all have things we have to overcome and move on.

Start making lists of how to fill your day with fun and joy!

Why not start by finding a really funny book to read and watch some funny movies and tv shows!

Another thing that you might consider is getting out of your comfort zone. Do something you never would have considered before. Challenge yourself to something and give yourself timelines to achieve it. Take some on line courses, go on a singles cruise, do something scary like parachuting out of a plane! Invent something!

Good luck to you!
Part Time Job ?
by: Cathy

Would you ever think of returning to the post office on a very PART TIME basis, just to get you out a few days of the week, and experience some camaraderie ? Perhaps that, or any part time work, would ground you again.

To that you could then add small things like getting outside for daily exercise, playing/walking with your dog, etc. to your schedule, which may lift your spirits enough to help you find other things to do.

It seems important that you make a jump start out of your present pattern and know it takes a long time to refind yourself but begins with one step.
RE: Stuck in Retirement
by: NY

You are suffering from depression which happens to many new retirees. All the suggestions given are excellent but your problem is getting the desire to get out to do them. I know many readers might not agree with me but here it goes.

After years working in a hospital I would hear of a drug called Vyvanse, used by a few now Doctors which got them through med school. It was originally created for ADD but physiologist found it works for depression. It gives you the get up and go without any feeling of being high. It makes you want to do things.

If you’re busy, your mind won’t think about any negative issues. The mind can only think about one thing at a time.

Keep it occupied.
Been There
by: Canadian Retiree

I retired last year and experienced the same things you are going through. I ended up seeing both a psychiatrist and a psychologist. I also took an antidepressant for about a year. As well I was living on Ativan.

Believe me none of this was fun. I’m a different person now thanks to counselling and Wendy’s cite. I’m taking a water colour painting class and exercise class one a week.

As many have suggested here don’t sit at home living in the past. Get out and do something! You could always deliver flyers and your local newspapers and earn a little extra. Volunteering is also an idea.

I’m sure things will turn around for you Keep going forward.
Other site
by: Ann in tennessee

What is Wendy’s other site ?

Wendy: Jane is talking about the Retirement Community (right column)
Stuck in retirement
by: marg/NewJersey

Try going to a senior club. You can get out of the house and meet some new people.
Keep Walking
by: Anonymous

Forty-Five years delivering mail,WOW! That's quite an accomplishment.

Anything to do with packages probably has many NEW career opportunities. Try delivering prescription drug orders to pharmacy customers. How about operating drones to deliver packages?

Making yourself relevant again will make you happy. Or, what about an independent courier service delivering packages to business people.

Joe W.
Boredom is the quick sand of Retirement
by: Jane Curtis/Hawkins, Texas

One of the easiest things to do when you retire is to get sucked into the quick sand of boredom. Doing the same thing everyday. Saying the same thing every day. You worked a schedule everyday and suddenly you do not have one.

Suddenly you can do what ever you want so... you do less and less everyday. Then that becomes your new habit. It has destroyed so many people.

Don't let it happen to you. You know it is not right or you would not be here. You are looking for a solution.

First of all you need to take your focus off of "me", "myself", and "I". If you do not need help... someone else does. I do not care what you do but at least once a day accomplish something by helping someone else.

Write a blog, about working for the post office. I am sure you have some great stories. Share them with others. Better still ask them about their stories. Go to a nursing home or senior center and find someone who needs help. Deliver meal on wheels. Volunteer work can turn you onto new horizons you never thought about before. Take someone else out for a ride.

I have a favorite saying, "If you are not happy with where you are... change it. You have two choices. If you are happy complaining about being bored and like talking about it then you will not take the steps to change it. Only you can change it.

I have a couple of blogs I have posted on Wendy's other site. I think they might help you. You are welcome to visit my page.

Quick sand can kill you. You have to pull yourself out. We can help.

This site has saved me and I know it will save you too. Let's hear from you.
stuck
by: Anonymous

Aw. That sounds awful. Hmmm....ask someone if they want to have coffee, and listen to them rather than talking. Maybe ask them if they want to go to the store with you and then you can return them to their car after shopping. I don't know. I love retirement.

My life is unimpressive - I walk my dog to a coffeeshop in the morning. Often we stop at my PO box. the dog goes in a bag, and sits with me while I have coffee, gazing at the sky or opening mail.

We walk home, stopping by a little store to buy an orange. I make lunch, pay bills and sort finances, watch a couple of programs, do my physical therapy. Not much fuss about dinner.

I do my online french lessons, listen to music (gives me a lift, and I dance around by myself), figure out an easy dinner, maybe walk a couple of miles in the dark to keep a friend who is dying of pancreatic cancer company, her sister drives me home when she gets home from work then. snack on junk, back to sleep. I have a book I read a few pages from once in a while. Church on sunday.
Email my brother and 1 friend daily.

But I have no complaints. I have no car, live in the rainy northwest, and walk everywhere, which takes lots of time. LOTS
Post retirement ailments
by: Anonymous

Many people go through what your going through, even myself. Retired now for seven years and living in an isolated area in my late mother-in-laws house in a non-English speaking environment.

WIthout a computer, a Kindle, foreign language TV channels, a car I don't know what I would do.

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Anxiety and Depression.