Too much me (can't sleep, need to declutter, etc)
by Carol
(West Chester)
Since covid lockdowns I have stopped sleeping at night. Finally, around dawn I fall asleep on the couch. Then I toss and turn on the sofa, end to end, with restless sleep for 12 or 14 hours. Haven't been to my bedroom in months.
My house is a cluttered mess. I have no energy. My goal is to clean up my house, then get a house cleaner to keep it clean. Sounds great but the house has cluttered over and I am doing nothing or not much to declutter the tables, etc.
I seem to be in an emotional cage that is self built. Have mobility issues and don't want to push through the pain. Seems I just want to cry and wallow. My age is 78.
Too much wallowing in my thoughts. Too much what if I had taken another path in life thought .
My marriage went sour when I decided to find self confidence which I had lost. I decided at age 46 to start college and finished with a MA degree.
MY husband was an emotional abuser. He died 15 or so years ago but before that told me I had changed and he did not like it. Yeah, I finally re-found my self confidence as a person. Retired 10 years ago.
Just starting to go out to places, It is scary because of covid. Have both shots.
Never thought I would clutter to the extent that is now or be scared to visit places and do fun stuff.
Any thoughts?