What now?

by Mary
(Michigan )

I retired one year ago at 62. I was a Director in a life insurance division of a Fortune 500 company.

I retired early because I lost a beloved older brother who didn't get to see 62 and I promised him I would leave and have fun.

I have no regrets that it was the right time but I was a single mother to my daughter and my goal was to keep her in the house she grew up in so my work and her were my whole life. I never dated after her dad left and she is an amazing and strong woman.

The problem is I don't know who the hell I want to be now and feel lost with no passion. The only thing I know for sure is I am strong and want to figure this out.

Your stories have helped me soo much and feel like I have a bunch of new friends.

Bless you all!

Comments for What now?

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to Nancy
by: Carrie/ Washington st

Thank you so much... I needed to read what you had written, so perfectly put, Our jobs controlled our daily lives and now we are responsible for controlling what we do every day, which is not as easy as one would think.... greatful..........
Thanks for your feedback
by: Mary

Thank you all for your feedback. It makes so much sense and I'm working hard each day to get out of my own way and allow myself to have the time to make this transition.

Feeling like I did my job and no longer have value is wrong and I know that. These are great ideas and to Joe W. that is so awesome that you are writing a book and dedicating to your brother.

I am a pretty good writer and many have told me to write but lost the confidence. Maybe I'll rethink that.

Thanks!!
Been there
by: Nancy

Mary, it is so hard to let go of your identity as a working person. One year into retirement is a very short time to be "adjusted".

Everybody had the same advice for me: "get a part-time job", "volunteer". Like I couldn't figure that one out myself, but that's not what I wanted to do.

Glad you are here.
What Now
by: Nancy

Hi Mary
If you're like me it will take you a while to find yourself again. It will take you a while to go through a "grieving period", and by this I mean you will find some times when you are lonely with nothing to do.

After being in the workforce so so many years we find ourselves not so much missing the job, but missing the people we worked with (our work family). We have lost our purpose of who we are and what we're supposed to be doing. Our jobs controlled our daily lives and now we are responsible for controlling what we do every day, which is not as easy as one would think.

Give yourself time to re-wind and time to think about what you want to do with all your spare time. I've been retired for 5 years now and for the first 4 years I worked a summer job.

I found myself without a job this summer and struggled to find some activity to fill in my time. I do some volunteering at a nursing home, which is good, but it doesn't meet all my needs to feel I have a real purpose.

I'm happier when I'm working and using the knowledge and skills I acquired during the many years I worked.

Good luck.
All that lies before us
by: Happy/ Out of the laboratory

You are free! You can choose!

You had a great job, career AND raised a daughter. Now the world is waiting for you.

I recommend seeing the movie, Christopher Robin, and getting a good view of the value of "doing nothing".

It took me a year to relax enough to happily do nothing. Now I see the value and the fertile land for creativity that "nothing" can be, when you let it. You will, you're great!

Welcome!
Self-Actualization
by: Joe W.

It seems like there are many seniors including myself who are experiencing an unexpected early death in their families. This is counter to what society is saying that the Boomer generation is living longer in their pre and post retirement life. However; like your situation there are many Boomers that don't make it to the official retirement age.

I know that your late Brother wanted you "to have fun." I decided to write a non-fiction book and dedicate it to my late Brother. I suggest that you could find something to do that would honor your Brother, and at the same time you can still have fun too.

Good Luck!

Joe W.
Get Out and Do Something
by: John A. / Tyler, Tx

In order to find yourself, get out and do something; anything.

Volunteer, write, find a part time job, consult or whatever. You need to do something in order to find whatever lights your fire. If you do nothing, you won't know when you are finished.

Good Luck!

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