Why raise us here in AK just to leave us now?

by Oldest daughter of 6 & mom to 5 kids

My heart is broken.

My dad had a brain injury about 7 years ago, and now makes very rash decisions without listening to any of us 6 kids.

After living in Ak for almost 40 years, and raising all 6 of their kids here, my dad has a new dream. Its not my moms dream, but he will force it on her using any number of manipulating reasons.

I am 33, married for 15 years and mother of 5 out of the 7 grandkids to my mom and dad. My kids were very close to them since birth and have always lived less then 20 mins away.

After my dads brain injury, family does not matter as much anymore, and he can barely stand to finish most conversations without getting angry, frustrated, even violent, then he will just walk away and disappear to his room. Now he wants to sell our family home and move thousands of miles away to MN???!

My mom will regret this forever & will most likely be stuck there without family. Help!!!! How can we change their mind?

He just made an offer on a home there just to force the move, and only informed us adult children after the offer was made.

I grew up soo far from all my grandparents who lived in NJ and CA. We never saw them except a few times total for christmas growing up. I missed their entire lives and now they are all dead. How can my parents move so far away and lose the special relationship they have with my children.

My family won't be able to travel to visit them, in fact my husband and I have never been able to even afford one family vacation, so we will never see them again. My heart hurts, I'm pregnant and my mom won't be there and my dad doesn't care about us anymore. What can I do?

Comments for Why raise us here in AK just to leave us now?

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DO NOT LET YOUR MOM LEAVE!!!
by: Anonymous

Please insist that your Mom not even think about moving because she will definitely regret the decision. There has to be a way she can stay where she is!!! Don't let her leave.
Mom's Rights
by: Joe W.

What percentage of the current residence does 'Mom' own? If it's 50% or more have 'Mom' get a lawyer to protect her rights. If 'Dad' has a brain injury he might not be capable of making big ticket decisions for the WHOLE family.
Grandparents move
by: Patrick

Not sure why a man should listen to his children when they are telling him what to do. Why do you assume it is you father's brain injury which is the issue rather than the fact that he wants to do something new?

We have three children and 4 grandchildren but have recently moved to Ireland from the UK. We sold the family home to make the move. Why? Because we are still young (65) and this was my wife's dream to live by the Irish coast.

We possibly have another 20 years of healthy life and she wants to enjoy it here in Ireland. It was not my decision but, after 45 years of marriage and living for our family, I feel my wife is entitled to follow her dream. Yes, it was a wrench leaving the family in the UK but we brought them up to be independent and we have to live our own lives.

Try working with your parents rather than against them and see what compromise you can find. We pay for our children and grandchildren to come for holidays rather than go on holiday ourselves.

Good luck
Half and Half
by: Anonymous

You cannot change someone else's mind if he or she wont discuss it. Ask your mom to spend half the year with you and half with him for the rest of her time away from Alaska.

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